|
|
|
Browse by Tags
All Tags » spanking (RSS)
-
 The wonderful Jo-n of SHOWER YOUR CHILDREN WITH LOVE - THE RIGHT WAY, has tagged me on a very important issue: Do I Spare the Rod?I don’t use hitting or spanking as a way to teach my little one how to accomplish something because hitting may stop the child, but it doesn’t generally teach understanding or help with realization. Parents I’ve observed who use hitting or spanking, generally use it for their own satisfaction (to alleviate their anger, impatience, unhappiness, annoyance, etc.), not for the benefit of the child.Hitting a little one due to emotional negativity is simply an incorrect approach to relating to a child. If our goal is to help and guide our children to understanding so that they can grow and accomplish on their own, then hitting is antithetical to that goal. You may have a child who responds to your requests out of fear and indoctrination, but again, that’s antithetical to the goal of guiding towards realization and understanding.So I would spare the rod in favor of more work on ourselves as adults so that we can finally approach our children with a clearer sense of what they truly need to be excellent.Please check out my previous post--A Primitive Remnant?--for further reading on this hot topic.-------------------------------------- Now how about you? Do you beat, uh, hit, uh, spank, uh, slap, uh, smack, uh, cane, uh, whack your precious ones into submission because of your frustration?
Tagged:
Sabine
My Life Zone
Sting
Zam
Hooi Imm
-------------------------------------- Instructions :**Start Copying Here**Tag 5 bloggers1st - You leave their blog and post link and add to the list below.2nd - Let the blogger know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment in their blog.1. Miche does not spare the rod.2. Jo-N wants to be her children's best friend.
3. The New Parent spares the rod.
all content The New Parent © 2007
|
-
 An ABCNews poll found that by a 2-1 margin, Americans approve of spanking children--65% to 31%. A UK research study in 1995, supported by the Department of Health found 77% of the 400 families involved in the study had hit their children within the last year.More than half the French (54.5%) say they spank their children often, according to a survey carried out by Sofres in January 1999.In Kenya, a common method of corporal punishment involves teachers striking students with a cane.Whew ... that’s a lot of pain. To what end?I’ve come across four different points of view or camps on hitting children. The first two camps--the “never spank or hit a child camp” and the “ritualized spanking (a routine performed according to a perceived prescribed order) camp”--get the most attention but, there are a couple of other camps--the “swat a child periodically camp” and the “only truly mindful people should hit a kid” camp.”OK, first the “never spank or hit a child camp”: this camp recites studies that show kids who are hit will become more aggressive, antisocial, etc. Read Judith Harris’s book “The Nurture Assumption” to review a debunking of this line of thinking. Even I can perceive of limited times when a child might need a very specific hit to redirect them. This camp does not allow for the possibility that a mindful hit can be useful.Next, we have the “ritualized spanking camp”: this camp is usually religious or governmental. The governments of some countries prescribe specific guidelines when hitting a child in school. Now from what I’ve experienced, the stability of government employees’ personalities is not questioned until they do something egregious. In charge of hitting our kids, hmmmm ... better think this one over. The Judeo-Christian religious camp looks to the bible and generally at passages from Proverbs. The difficulty here is-- cherry picking. Now I can’t find any sanction in the teachings of Jesus to encourage the practice of corporal punishment at home, school or anywhere. Also, using the cherry picking method, I could find rationalizations for slavery, suppression of women, polygamy, incest and infanticide. So, let’s cherry pick these passages:- Matthew 5:39--”but I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.”- Matthew 5:44--”But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you...” - Paul in 1 Cor. 4:21: "Shall I come to you with the whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?" Maybe we hear what we want to hear and disregard the rest?The “swat a child periodically camp”: tends to be a camp that may or may not believe in hitting a child as a matter of course, but will hit their child when life pressures them enough. No plan here.The final camp, the “only truly mindful people should hit a kid camp”: may realize that when unconscious people are given the ability to hit others, a lot of pain and suffering happens. This camp doesn’t seem to adhere to the “hitting as an extension of frustration and calling it trying to teach discipline” model. Apparently, mindfulness should be the guide. This camp doesn’t seem to buy the, “when all else fails you gotta beat the child” sensibility. It seems that when you strip away frustration, anger, annoyance and ignorance you may only be left with the hope that hitting a child is correct--but hope is not knowing. This camp asks, “Isn’t it best to wait until we actually know what we’re doing before we start beating the little ones?”Which camp are you in?all content The New Parent © 2007
|
|
|
|
|