A couple of weeks ago, while at a picnic for my daughter’s school, the children were using the big slide. A group of about five little ones, crowded at the top, waiting for their turn to slide down. But, instead of waiting they all pushed their way onto the slide and slid down one behind the other. My daughter was one of them.As the first child in the row slowed because her rubber shoes gripped the slide, each child in turn bumped the one in front of them. My daughter’s head hit the back of the child in front of her, pushing her tooth into her lip. Needless to say, it hurt!My daughter looked over at me and began to cry.What I saw was that this group of little ones had not accomplished an important skill: knowing when to do something.Now, I’ve been working with my daughter to help her begin to understand that there are times to do certain things, but there are also times not to do certain things. If a child starts the process of learning when to do certain activities and when not to do other activities, it can help that child have greater self control. One of the ways in which we can guide them through this process is by setting up different scenarios and watching what they do, then correcting what needs to be corrected. I’ve found this approach superior to the “correct them verbally, after they make a mistake” approach. Also, setting up different scenarios can have a fun component, similar to roll playing.One scenario that’s helpful to the family is a morning one. When to get up, when to come into the parent’s room, when to make louder sounds and so forth. First give directions: when should they arise, when should they come into your room, etc.Then watch as they attempt to accomplish this. As they go through the process, help guide them with explanation--when activities are done at the wrong time, it can lead to an incompatible situation. In this scenario, the incompatibility comes form their urge to continue to be unaware of others around them. So, my little one will learn that when at the park and waiting to go down the slide with other children, the “when to do it” is after the child in front of you is finished sliding and is off the slide.For my daughter, it was a painful lesson.all content The New Parent © 2007