When I first started to approach teaching my daughter different skills and attitudes, I realized that there were at least three different “roads” to take. Each one plays an important role.Direct approachWe’re pretty familiar with this “road.” We tell or show our little ones how to do something and they follow direction. We tend to use tons of repetition on this road and if we’re not mindful, we can simply indoctrinate our little ones without leading them to early stages of understanding. When attempting to hone a skill (like listening to a request), we tend to take a direct approach to capturing their attention by using words (sometimes too often). We may also directly help them with how to listen by physically showing them the actual posture of listening to someone else.Indirect approachA “road” that can be more elusive to us. This is where we avoid using direct mention, exposition or postures to help guide them. Modeling a particular activity around our children without describing what we’re doing is indirect. Strewing (http://thenewparent.blogspot.com/2007/05/strewing-yup.html), where we leave something around for our little ones to find on their own is an indirect method.Mindfully teaching reading in a relaxed posture, in a serene room, can be an indirect way to initiate a little one into the attitude of being calm. From what I can see, some things can only be taught indirectly and we “instigate” conflict because we try a direct approach where an indirect one is more appropriate. Many aspects of attitude in our children seem to be “absorbed” through indirect learning.Catalytic approachThis is where a situation is set up and then we allow certain elements in that situation to spark our little ones to “find their own way.” In order for it to be a truly helpful learning experience, we have to be mindful of what we’re setting up and what we want them to learn. They should also be at a certain skill level, so they can accomplish the “goal.”An example of a catalytic learning experience was set up to help my daughter become more physically confident (and gain greater balance) at the playground--she resisted climbing all the “ladder” type structures (the curved ladder, the wavy ladder, the straight ladder, etc.). She would just stand and watch other children climb. One morning, at home, I decided to have her help me set up an “obstacle” course made out of two of her little desk chairs, one little bench, an adult chair, a cushioned chair and a step stool. All were spaced apart so she had to stretch her legs from chair to chair as she climbed across them.At first, she was hesitant. I walked her through it (direct approach). Then over months, she began to climb from chair to chair with glee. As I positioned the chairs farther apart and periodically made specific suggestions on what leg to use, her balance improved (indirect approach).I would take her to the playground with the most “ladders” and without saying a word I let her find her way. Occasionally, when she began to climb, she would call for assistance and I would simply help and walk away. Now she scrambles up the “ladders” like a pro.We tend to rely on the direct approach too much. In order for us to be effective “teachers,” we might need to have a balanced mix of all these approaches. We may wish to think through what it is they need to learn and then choose the approach(es) that will be beneficial. Sometimes, it may be our parental intuition that guides us towards a particular approach ... (wink).all content The New Parent © 2007