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 Once upon a time, a little girl asked her father to tell her a story. Her father replied that instead of telling her a story, they would role-play a story. The little girl was excited.So, her father explained that this was a story (that had been told to her before) about a little girl whose parents asked her to go into the forest and pick some delicious, healthy blueberries for a blueberry pie. Her parent’s bedroom would be the little girl’s home, the hallway would be the road through the forest and her bedroom wood be the location of the blueberry bush. Along the way she might meet a fox and a crow who was fond of worms.So, the little girl went into her parent’s bedroom with her little bag, pretended to kiss them goodbye and started through the doorway into the hall. Now, since the hall was a pretend forest, her father was in the bathroom (off the hallway) pretending to be the fox. As her father peeked around the bathroom door to see his little girl entering the hallway, he said, “Now honey, I’m the fox who, when you approach, runs away.”With that, the little girl burst into tears and with a quivering voice said, “Daddy, I don’t like that part with the fox!”Her Dad, seeing her big tears, responded, “Honey, the fox only peeks out and then leaves.”“But Daddy, I don’t like when the fox is there, I don’t like this part,” said the little girl, her face lined with tear tracks.“Come here, honey,” said the little girl’s Daddy in a calm, confident voice.The little girl walked over to her Dad and let his arms surround her. Then, as he held her in front of him, the little girl’s father asked, “Honey, what is making you cry like this?”“I don’t like the fox part,” she said with a quivering voice.“What don’t you like about the fox part, honey?” asked her Dad.“It sc-sc-scares me,” said the little girl.The little girl’s Dad asked the little girl to shift from her feeling about being scared to thinking about this question--“What is scaring you, honey?” The little girl had been working with her Dad recently on learning the differences between thinking, feeling and moving around. She was starting to see that there’s an activity we all call thinking and one we call feeling and another we call moving. So, the little girl calmed herself enough to begin to think about that question.“The fox,” answered the little girl.“Is the fox real, honey?” inquired her Dad.“No, just pretend,” said the little girl.“Then who is really scaring you?” her Dad asked.Suddenly, a quizzical look washed over her face and she said, “Me.”Her Dad responded, “That’s right, honey, you were scaring yourself---you gave yourself a little boo inside.”With that, the little girl burst into laughter, “I was scaring myself!”A big smile on her face, the little girl went back to role playing and walked past the fox, realizing it was only pretend.Moral of the story: “Imagination is crazy, your whole perspective gets hazy. Starts you asking a daisy what to do, what to do” all content The New Parent © 2007
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 One recent afternoon I read an article in The New York Times reporting on an important topic for parents. The title was “Picky Eaters? They Get it from You,” and it discussed some of the ways in which our children exhibit pickiness upon exposure to new foods at a young age. The article seemed to hinge on a study out of London which reported that 78% of a child’s food pickiness is genetic, and 22% environmental.It was another article that relies on a few experts who -- by the end of the article -- “suggest nothing more than patience.” Of course, there are the requisite quotes from parents who have an impossible time expanding their kids’ palates. Then, the expert sentence that nails everything down: “Most children eat a variety of foods until they are around 2, when they suddenly stop. The phase can last until the child is 4 or 5. It’s an evolutionary response, researchers believe.”The article also includes a boxed piece with experts’ suggestions on what meager attempts can be made. Some suggestions: “Meals should be served family style, with no separate foods for children. Adapt dishes to child-friendly shapes and sizes. Never say a child has to taste everything ... Giving food cool names can help.”It adds a quote from an expert referring to parents, “Over whether the child eats it, they do not have control.” We can try these “strategies” and essentially feel good knowing we can’t really do anything about it. So here we have another article about how experts offer little real parenting help. And the writer buys into it by presenting a slanted point-of-view or one that attempts to support the study.Helping our little ones develop a broad palate and accept new foods is a necessary part of getting nutrients from a variety of food sources into them. It’s not entertainment and it’s not a sport. Experts who say spurious things like, “A natural skepticism of new foods is a healthy part of a child’s development” aren’t really helping. Yes, our children may be resistant to many activities. And yes, there may be genetic components involved. But skepticism--an idea wherein a person is inclined to question or doubt accepted opinions. Our little ones might be a bit young for this sensibility. So what might be at play here?I know parents who have children with broad palates. My daughter is one. Genetics? They may play a role. But there might be other factors: • our misunderstanding of the use of imitation as a learning tool; • the way in which we “allow” children to imitate (both adults and siblings) dislikes;• the “fear” we have of teaching our little ones how to accept new foods;• the erroneous notion that once a child shows dislike or says no, it must mean they don’t like the specific food;• many times we don’t use the whole family at the same time to help;• we sometimes wait until our little ones are able to say “no” before teaching them to accept new foods;• we may use the difficult “easy foods that work in our time frame” method;• we may use foods as a pacifier;• we may introduce aggressive, mono-flavors like white sugar too early;• many times we’re unsure of our role as “person in charge;”• our children may be seeking foods that are flavorful or cooked with flavor;• our little ones may be reacting to texture or timing and not taste;• our children may be reacting to the way foods taste when they follow another food;• we may unfortunately take a short-term approach instead of a long-term approach when our children express their first resistance;• we sometimes project our fear and discomfort onto the situation;• we hardly ever separate the skill or refinement of eating properly (how to hold utensils, how not to spill food, how not to “play” with food when eating) from the wildness of food “play;”• we may make little distinction between the early wild stage of learning and the goal of greater refinement;• we adults may get easily frustrated and become impatient with long-term goals;• there might sometimes be a confusion between needs and wants.Hmmm ... maybe less experts and writers
blowing smoke up our ...? Or maybe, less fear, more food clarity? all content The New Parent © 2007
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