How difficult is it to have our kids transition from jumping, running and screaming to going out of the house or to bed or mealtime with serenity? Sometimes, very difficult.Many parents that I chat with discuss the inability of their kids to transition gracefully without it turning into either conflict, scolding or repetitive verbal prompts as reminders.One of the culprits responsible for these graceless shifts is overstimulation.It seems brain development requires stimulation. A good strategy for effective stimulation is to stay ahead of our little one’s habituation—which is to say, as they become accustomed to certain toys, books, environments, lengths of activities, etc., we should consider varying them.But we adults tend to see many things in our own lives as boring or tedious, and this leads us to unconsciously seek greater stimulation (or pleasure, as we sometimes call it). Suddenly, without realizing it, we tend toward moments of overstimulation in our own lives ... and that tendency we then “share” with our little ones.We love to physically excite our kids even when it’s not necessary (especially before bedtime). Seeing them excited, excites us, which gives us pleasure. At times we might ask, "Does our pleasure necessarily benefit our kids?" Considering the ways we overstimulate our kids may help us develop strategies to compensate for our “need” to raise the stimulation quotient.What I’ve observed is that we tend to use verbalization as one way to overstimulate. Questions and statements such as, “Isn’t that exciting?” or, “That must be so exciting!” (repeated over and over) “force” our kids to seek excitement as a goal. It frames the topic (say, going to school) as needing excitement to meet the adult’s idea of satisfaction.A parent friend mentioned another area of overstimulation: environment. Too many things (toys, books, plush animals, dolls) on the scene. Too much created noise (TV on while trying to talk, music or talk radio in the background) will overstimulate and confuse our little ones. The child’s room that looks like a toy factory explosion -- where it’s difficult to find any one item -- can be overstimulating. A visit to Toys R Us can overexcite unnecessarily.Another area of overstimulation is one we may not think of too often---timing (at what moment we do an activity with our kids). It might be better to turn the TV off when mealtime is about to happen. It might be more productive to hold off on the physical play before sleep time. It might be a better transition to stop running around at least a half-hour before leaving the home, instead of suddenly yelling, “Let’s get ready to go!” From what I observe, overstimulation -- or raising the “entropy” level -- hinders our little ones from easily focusing on a given activity; adds confusion where it’s not necessary; impedes learning to sort through subtle cues in language and in the environment; and can restrict clear interaction with others.What I’m learning to remember is that our little ones are generally capable of telling us when they have become weary or disinterested in an activity. But their way of showing us that they are overstimulated is a little more arcane---they exhibit difficulty shifting to a more calm mode where they can focus on the next task.What signs do you see when your kids get overstimulated?all content The New Parent © 2007