What do we expect of our little ones?Well, we expect that they’ll learn how to be potty trained,We expect that they will eat much of the food we offer them.We expect that they will learn how to dress themselves.We expect that they will cooperate much of the time.We do expect things of our children. Yet, it seems to make us uncomfortable.In the past month, after talking to many parents, I’m astonished that so many parents have absolutely no expectation that their little ones should learn manners. More to the point, most parents I spoke with simply don’t care if their little ones are well mannered. The sense is that it’s not important. Others can deal with their kids when they get ill mannered. Only one parent I spoke with saw politeness as a cornerstone of respect.In my daughter’s preschool class out of about 18 students, there is only one child whose family expects her to be well mannered. Amazing.While at dinner a few nights ago, one of my dinner companions spent time discussing the role of manners. She is pregnant and thinking about how she would like her little one to interact with others. She confessed that she is horrified by the way she sees many little kids behave and is clear that children she has met who are polite are also more respectful of others.For me, politeness is also a means by which our children can communicate and interact with less friction. The “language” of manners allows children to understand how they should interface with each other. Politeness is a way to convey respect and consideration. By laying down a foundation of politeness, we also guide them towards learning about being respectful to those they meet and to those they spend time with. And think about it, if a peer group is composed of children who are all expected to have a high degree of politeness, then that group will also have a greater potential in having tolerance for their individual differences. They may learn how a group can interact in a helpful way, benefitting all those involved. So why don’t we expect our little ones to have manners and exhibit politeness?Shouldn’t an attitude of respectfulness (through politeness) be cultivated in our little ones?One parent said to me,”It is nice to see a polite child. I just don’t come across very many.”Amazing.all content The New Parent © 2007