I’d like to wish a very happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers who are reading this, although I find it kind of sad that we need a special day to tell mothers how much they are appreciated! Wouldn’t it be great if your kids told you every so often how grateful they are for all that you do? I have a feeling that most of us don’t hear these sentiments very often. What a wonderful (and surprising) gift that would be!

Ironically, the woman who started Mother’s Day also became disenchanted with what she started. One hundred years ago, Anna Jarvis organized the first Mother’s Day service at her mother’s church following her mother’s death three years earlier. An article by The Associated Press notes that Anna recommended that mothers be given a white carnation as it represented the purity of mothers’ love. When the day became more of a commercial celebration over the years, with people buying candy, cards and other expensive items, Anna protested in public letters. She said that people who bought greeting cards were too lazy to write their own letters. And she was actually arrested for disturbing the peace when she publicly protested a Mother’s Day celebration in New York. Despite her regret over what she had started, Mother’s Day lives on and is celebrated on the second Sunday in May in 52 countries.

So, I’d like to remind everyone that, as Mother’s Day comes and goes, your “obligation” is not over. A few months from now, when you’re sitting mindlessly in front of the TV, why not give your mother a call and tell her you’re thinking of her? Or write up a mushy note that will make her weepy. Although we mothers love the gifts that our families give to us, we also want to hear the sincere thoughts that accompany them, not just on Mother’s Day, but when we least expect it.

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I’d always been taught in biology class that the sex of a baby is determined by the father. If he contributes an X chromosome, you’ve got a girl. If he gives a Y chromosome, it’s a bouncing baby boy. But at the same time, being the mother of four boys, I’ve always wondered if I played a part somehow in attracting all those Y chromosomes. Now a study released by British researchers says that I could be right.

According to researcher Fiona Mathews at the University of Exeter, a woman’s diet may affect whether she conceives a boy or a girl. An Associated Press story about the study states that “certain nutrients or eating patterns make women’s bodies more hospitable to sperm carrying the male chromosome.” For instance, having a good appetite, eating foods that are rich in potassium (like bananas) and not skipping breakfast appeared to increase the odds of having a boy.

A fertility specialist at University of Illinois at Chicago says these findings correlate with evidence from test-tube fertilizations that male embryos thrive better when they are exposed to more “nutrient-rich lab cultures.”

According to a press release posted by The Royal Society, “Researchers at the Universities of Exeter and Oxford show a clear link between a high energy intake before conception and the birth of sons. As well as consuming more calories, women who had sons were more likely to have eaten a higher quantity and wider range of nutrients such as, potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12. There was also a strong correlation between women who ate breakfast cereals and the production of sons” (Source: http://royalsociety.org/news.asp?id=7622).

Well, it is true that I’ve never dieted and I’m a big fan of bananas, so perhaps there is some truth to this study! In any case, there’s no harm in heeding its advice if you’re trying to conceive a baby of a particular gender. Hey, guys, want to get that son you always wanted? Seduce your honey with a banana daiquiri tonight!

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In my previous post, I wrote about our family’s newfound love of the library. Coincidentally, I just found out that April 23 is an international celebration called World Book and Copyright Day. So, I can’t let this event pass without talking about reading one more time. First, here’s what the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) web site has to say about this special day:

More than 100 countries will take part on 23 April in the 13th celebration of World Book and Copyright Day, proclaimed by UNESCO in 1996. Publishers, book shops, libraries, schools, cultural institutions and authors’ societies from all over the world have undertaken to celebrate the Day and promote the enduring importance of books.

As an author and a mother, I couldn’t be more thrilled with any event that encourages people to read. I can’t imagine my life without books, and I know my children can’t either. My teenage boys are currently engrossed in reading the Dune sci-fi series. My preschoolers beg me to read to them every night (which I gladly do). And my husband and I always have several books going. I alternate between fiction and nonfiction books. Mike is usually reading books about investing, mountain climbing, or other interests.

For those of you who are going to say that you just don’t have time to read (and I’m guilty of saying that myself), why not try out an audiobook? You can listen to it while you’re using your computer, driving in the car or working out at the gym. I recently discovered audio books, as well. (Yes, I know they’ve been around for a while, but I can be a little slow in catching up on the latest trends!) Moreover, you can download them right from the computer. Audible.com has a great selection of audiobooks for adults, and they now have a new service for kids called AudibleKids.com. They describe themselves as “an engaging, interactive community of parents, their kids, and educators that promotes the fun of storytelling through audiobooks. Listen to books, read and post reviews, and share your favorites with others.” AudibleKids has a huge selection of books (more than 3,500), ranging from simple “easy readers” to books that are enjoyed by teens and adults. There’s a parents’ guide and even a way for parents to set up an “allowance” for their kids so they can pick out their favorite books, but stay within your budget. You can listen to samples of books, and the stories are downloadable to most MP3 players. You can search for books by category, age, grade, title, author, keyword, award winners and more. There are even 99-cent specials so you can try them out with minimal investment.

So, don’t let International Book Day pass without resolving to incorporate more books into your family’s life. There’s no excuse for not reading. Head to the library; go to the bookstore; dust off the books on your bookshelves; or check out AudibleKids.com for an audiobook. As Heinrich Mann said, “A house without books is like a room without windows.”

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I think I mentioned in an earlier post that my chiropractor wants me to walk more. He’s been telling me this for several months (which I’ve been obeying off and on . . . okay, probably more off than on). But then I had the misfortune of wrenching my lower back last weekend while swinging a forty-pound kid in the air, so I figured I’d better start getting a little more exercise or I’d end up in a wheelchair before the age of 45. Fortunately, after a little acupuncture (very cool) and some help from Mother Nature, I’ve graduated from the “knife-like pain” stage to the “merely sore” stage. Nonetheless, my chiro says now that I’ve got to keep walking so I don’t stiffen up. Sigh . . . I’ve always found walking a little dull when I’m by myself. (By the way, I’ve added an MP3 player to my Mother’s Day wish list. Perhaps a few motivational tapes will inspire me to walk briskly! I figure if I add a few items like a new car, a kitchen makeover and a luxury cruise to that same list that I’ve got a pretty good chance of getting the MP3 player.) Therefore, to ward off the boredom, I recruited my four-year-old twins to go along for my walk. I envisioned that I’d be so busy trying to keep up with them that it would be a good workout. I couldn’t have been more wrong; I have never been on a slower walk in my life!

First it was the flowers. “Mommy, look at these beautiful flowers! I’ll pick some for you!” Well, they were actually weeds, but I didn’t want to discourage their generosity, so I let them pick them. Then we saw the neighbor’s kitty out in the yard. “Maybe we could put some of our flowers on her,” they suggested. No, I didn’t think kitty would be too happy about that. We continued on until they discovered a sewer grate. It was a new game. How many things can you drop down a sewer grate, and what kind of sound will they make? I discovered, actually, that our neighborhood is filled with these sewer grates, and we had to stop at every single one of them. The boys picked up worms (dead and alive), grass, sticks and bugs, all of which either went into their pockets or down the sewer grate. I finally got the boys headed in the general direction of home when another neighbor passed by with her two little dogs, which the twins had to pet, of course. “Why are the dogs so little?” “What are their names?” “How come that one is black?” It was 20-questions time.

At long last, we made it home. I don’t think I got much exercise from walking, but I definitely did some great squats as I inspected various weeds, bugs and rocks on the ground. I’m certain that my chiropractor wouldn’t be too impressed with my walking regimen, but I wouldn’t trade my “walk on the wild side” with the twins for anything. I know the days are numbered when a flying bird, a leaf or a scurrying lizard will be a source of fascination. I’ll walk alone sometimes, too (perhaps after I get that MP3 player), but I’m also going to make sure I take the time to just explore the neighborhood through my children’s eyes. Wanna see a cool bug?

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They Grow Up So Fast...

I often hesitate to tell people that I have “gifted” children because it sounds like I’m one of those competitive moms I hate. I’ve never liked being involved in the “mommy competition,” in which mothers try to one-up each other with stories about how talented or smart or beautiful their kids are. So, at the risk of stimulating a few eye rolls, I have to admit that my boys are gifted so you’ll know why I’d be so interested in reading a book called Keys to Parenting the Gifted Child (3rd edition), by Sylvia Rimm, Ph.D. (2007, Great Potential Press).

I always knew my two oldest boys were bright, but I never really thought of them as “gifted” until they started elementary school . . . and were bored stiff! They’d often find the assignments unchallenging or finish their work early and look around for something else to do. I had the same problem when I was a child, but unfortunately we didn’t have any “gifted programs” available back then. When my parents talked with my teacher about challenging me more in the classroom, she responded by letting me grade other kids’ papers and put up her bulletin boards. It wasn’t exactly what my parents had in mind. By fifth grade, they finally scraped up their pennies and enrolled me in a private school, which had a more challenging curriculum. Fortunately, most school districts have a better option today: gifted education. My second son was sent to a gifted classroom in the middle of third grade. (It took me that long to get up the courage to transfer him to another school away from his friends, but where they had the gifted curriculum.) It was the best thing I ever did for him. He loved his new school, and there was a complete change in attitude and motivation when he felt he was learning and being challenged.

So, how do you know if your child is really gifted? What are the signs? According to Sylvia Rimm, Ph.D., in Keys to Parenting the Gifted Child, “Gifted children exhibit talent early. They may speak in whole sentences when other similar-age children know only a few words. Some observe environmental details that aren’t even noticed by others. Their questions may reveal a depth of understanding atypical of preschoolers. They may construct complex puzzles or toys or take toys apart in a manner that indicates extraordinary spatial understanding. Unusual sensitivity may be displayed. They may learn letters, numbers, colors, and shapes with speed and interest, come to adult-like mathematical conclusions, read spontaneously, have a sense of humor, or show extraordinary musical or artistic talent far beyond that of typical children. All these characteristics indicate giftedness.”

If your child shows any of these signs, I highly recommend that you read Dr. Rimm’s book. She’ll tell you how to have your child evaluated, select a school (whether it’s preschool or elementary), encourage a love of reading, teach good homework habits, communicate with your child’s teacher, and more. She also answers questions such as: Should my child be allowed to skip a grade? Should I homeschool my child? How do I encourage my gifted child if he or she has a disability? Rimm also addresses family issues related to having a gifted child, such as parenting with a united front, sibling rivalry and single parenting. Keys to Parenting the Gifted Child is a very comprehensive guide for families with gifted kids, who often find it difficult to share their joys and concerns with others. This book helps them feel less alone and answers the questions they’re likely to have so they can “unlock the potential” of their very bright children.

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When I went through a divorce more than 14 years ago, my two children were a baby and a preschooler, and thus weren’t old enough to be given too many details. I have often wondered, though, how different it would have been if they had been older. How would I have told them that their father and I were divorcing, and we’d be moving to another home? Would they be scared or cry or begin acting out? Indeed, one of the most difficult conversations a parent will ever have with his or her children is telling them that their parents are separating or divorcing. Children may blame themselves, worry about the future, fear they’ll never see one or both of their parents again, or feel that their safety and security are crumbling before their eyes. So, how can parents allay these fears while imparting such a scary message to their children?

Fortunately, a book by Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, provides a great start. How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! is a fill-in-the-blank book that guides parents through making a personal family storybook they can share with their children. The text was designed to convey six key messages to children of divorce:

1. This is not your fault.
2. Mom and Dad will always love you.
3. Mom and Dad will always be your Mom and Dad.
4. You are, and will continue to be, safe.
5. This is about change, not about blame.
6. Everything is going to be okay.

Using the templates provided, parents can customize their book to reflect their personal situation. Parents are encouraged to include stories (and photos) from their family’s history, guided on ways to explain “the problem” without inflicting blame on the other parent, and coached on how to provide a picture of the future and how it will change. Parents can use materials as simple as a photo album or as elaborate as a scrapbook. Two versions are provided, one for kids aged 5–10 and another for kids aged 10–15. How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? also provides advice and insights from six therapists who specialize in family issues.

Divorce is never going to be an easy adjustment for children, but with the help of this book, parents can provide their children with the information they need to be assured that they’re loved and their future holds promise. How Do I Tell the Kids About Divorce? is available as a downloadable eBook at www.howdoitellthekids.com (and also includes some great bonuses!).

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