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 Whew ... feeling better now and I wanted to thank all those who dropped by to wish both my daughter and me well. That was really sweet of you all (smile). I truly appreciated it.
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While I was recuperating, friends stopped by with their children. One of the kids was a bit noisy and was unaware how to be calm while walking through the house. As a matter of fact, this child was really overly energetic. The Mom would scold him repeatedly because he simply couldn’t move down the hall without yelling and jumping.I gently suggested that instead of repeatedly scolding him, let’s show him what to do---what’s expected of him. At first she resisted by saying, “Oh, he knows what to do, he just doesn’t want to listen.”Hmmmm ... that meant that he was just trying to bug her or us. That old, them against us sensibility. I’m not a fan of that attitude--from my perspective, this child had learned that he could jump and yell and the only thing that would happen is that his Mom might raise her voice. But he showed no familiarity with how to walk calmly down a hall, and he was 4 years old.So, I said in a mild voice, “Hey, let’s try something.”The Mom looked at me and said, “OK.”So, we took her little one and brought him down the hall and showed him how to walk calmly from one end to the other. Then after showing him how to do this activity, I said to him, “Now, show yourself how you walk down this hall with calmness and confidence.”The little guy laughed at first, then went to one end and calmly (for him) walked down the hall. He had a little speed in that walk, but for this jumpy kid, well, he did just fine for his first time with instruction.The Mom smiled at me and asked, “Is that all it takes?”I said, “Well, what it takes is not letting your child go to the second step in an activity until he has accomplished the first step.”That’s hard for us parents. Our impatience gets in the way and we allow, or rush or simply don’t pay attention to how well they are progressing in their daily activities. But, if we take the time that’s needed and walk our children through the steps they obviously missed, we might see a wonderful improvement in their ability to accomplish and follow directions. Sometimes, they need to be shown what to do, even when we think they already know. all content The New Parent © 2007
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